The 8 Stages of Falling Out of Love With Your Job (And Why Most People Ignore the Early Ones)

Most people don’t wake up one morning and suddenly hate their job.

What usually happens is much quieter — and far more costly.

Falling out of love with your work is a slow erosion. Subtle. Gradual. Easy to explain away, especially if you’re doing well on paper. For many high performers in Singapore, this process unfolds over years. Not because they are unaware, but because they are capable, resilient, and highly skilled at functioning through discomfort.

By the time they search things like “should I change careers” or “I don’t like my job but it pays well,” the dissatisfaction has often been there far longer than they realise.

As a career coach in Singapore working with professionals navigating mid-career change and career pivots, these are the eight stages we see repeatedly — and why the early ones are almost always ignored.

Stage 1: Drift

At this stage, nothing looks wrong.

You still perform. You still deliver. Your manager is still happy. What changes is not your output, but how you feel about the work. Curiosity fades. You stop asking questions that go beyond what is required. You attend meetings but mentally disengage faster than before.

Most people tell themselves they are simply tired or distracted. Because performance remains intact, there is no external signal that something needs attention. This is why this stage is rarely taken seriously.

But disengagement is often the first sign that your career is no longer growing in the same direction as you are.

Stage 2: Dread

This is when the body speaks before the mind does.

Sunday evenings begin to feel heavy. Not panic. Not dread. Just resistance. Anxiety. A quiet reluctance to return to the week ahead. You might be  Googling things like “Sunday night anxiety work” or “why do I feel stressed before work” at this stage.

In Singapore, this feeling is easily normalised. Long hours and pressure are common, so discomfort is reframed as part of being responsible or ambitious.

But this is not about Mondays. It is about anticipation. Your nervous system already understands what the week will require of you, even if you have not yet articulated it.

Stage 3: Flatline

This is where many high performers get stuck without realising it.

You know your role well. You can do it on autopilot. You are praised for reliability and consistency. From the outside, it looks like you’re thriving. From the inside, the work no longer stretches or challenges you.

Because you are still succeeding, you assume fulfilment is optional. You tell yourself this is just what adulthood or mid-career looks like. You start to believe that feeling neutral about your job is normal — even responsible.

But feeling unchallenged for too long is not stability. It is often the early stage of stagnation, hidden behind competence.

Stage 4: Rationalising

This is the stage where logic overrides instinct.

You start justifying why you should stay. Every job has boring parts. At least the pay is good. Others would be lucky to be in this position. In Singapore, where career stability and financial security are deeply valued, this rationalisation carries real weight.

People at this stage often search “is it normal to hate your job” or “should I quit my job if nothing is wrong.” The answer they usually give themselves is no.

So instead of asking whether the role still fits, they question whether they are allowed to want something different.

And because nothing is visibly broken, they stay.

If You’re Recognising This Pattern So Far, Address It Now

Falling out of love with your job does not mean you are ungrateful, incapable, or broken. More often, it means your priorities have evolved and your role has not.

The earlier you recognise misalignment, the more agency you retain. The longer you wait, the more constrained a career change or career pivot feels.

When you recognise misalignment early, you have options. You can explore. You can test. You can make decisions from a place of strength. When you wait until you’re exhausted or resentful, the same career change feels heavier and more urgent. You start reacting instead of choosing.

You don’t have to wait until you hit stage eight to do something about it.

If parts of this feel familiar, let’s look at it properly. Book a call with a career coach in Singapore and we’ll assess where you are, what’s actually driving the disconnect, and what your realistic next steps could be. It’s much easier to pivot when you still have clarity and confidence than when you’re trying to recover both.

Stage 5: Comparing

This stage is internal and almost invisible.

You notice others who seem energised by their work. You are not jealous — just curious. You scroll LinkedIn more intentionally. You read about career change or career pivot stories. You wonder how people figured out what they really wanted to do.

But the idea never becomes concrete enough to act on. You tell yourself it is interesting, but unrealistic. This is often when people begin searching “career pivot Singapore” or “mid-career change options,” without believing they apply to them yet.

This is the beginning of internal conflict: one part sensing misalignment, another part insisting it is impractical to address.

If you’re starting to sense a misalignment but aren’t ready to make big decisions yet, the How to Avoid Corporate Misalignment & Build a Career You Truly Love Masterclass walks through how high performers reposition without pretending to be someone they’re not.

Stage 6: Numbness

This is the most dangerous stage.

You are not unhappy enough to leave, but not fulfilled enough to stay with conviction. You distract yourself with travel, busyness, or side projects. You wait for motivation to return.

Many professionals remain here for years. Careers continue. Promotions happen. Life moves forward. But the internal cost compounds quietly, often surfacing later as a mid-life crisis. 

This is when people begin asking a career coach whether they are burnt out or just bored — and whether a career change is necessary.

Stage 7: Friction

At this point, the discomfort is no longer just about the job.

Your role starts to clash with who you are becoming. The identity that once felt affirming now feels constraining. You struggle to articulate what you want instead, only that this no longer fits.

People often describe feeling confused, restless, or irritable without knowing why. The question shifts from “What’s wrong with my job?” to “What’s wrong with me?”

This is where many mid-career professionals in Singapore begin seriously considering a career pivot, even if they do not yet have language for it.

Stage 8: Reckoning

Eventually, something forces a decision.

It might be burnout, a health scare, a restructuring, or simply the realisation that staying now costs more than leaving. By this stage, the decision feels heavy because it is overdue.

What could have been a thoughtful career change now feels like it requires an emergency response. The regret is rarely about leaving. It is about how long it took to take action.

Why High Performers Ignore the Early Stages

High performers are exceptionally good at managing discomfort. They have been rewarded for resilience, problem-solving, and pushing through. Many are surrounded by people who see their role as desirable, which makes them feel bad for not being more grateful with their “perfect on paper” job.

But many underestimate the long-term cost of staying misaligned.Early discomfort feels manageable, so it is often dismissed until it is too late. 

When Discomfort Is a Signal, Not Something to Push Through

If you recognised yourself in the earlier stages like the quiet disengagement, the Sunday night resistance, the sense that something is off but not “bad enough” yet — this isn’t something to ignore.

Falling out of love with your job doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or incapable. It often means your priorities have evolved and your role hasn’t caught up.

At Ctrl Alt Career, we don’t push people to quit or leap prematurely. Our work is about helping you understand what stage you’re in, what your discomfort is actually signalling, and what options you have before things reach a breaking point.

If you’re noticing the signs and don’t want to wait until burnout or a forced exit to act, consider this an invitation to book a FREE Career Clarity Call with our team.

One honest conversation could help you recognise the turning point earlier and decide your next move with clarity instead of urgency.